Fatties resorting to painful tongue patch to lose weight!

There are loads of methods for losing weight out there at the moment, we've seen them all. Atkins, Weight Watchers, cabbage soup diet, liquid diet, Jenny Craig, Slim Fast etc. etc. and in reality none of that shit is gonna work unless you're gonna stay off the unhealthy stuff when you end the diet. Well how about this extreme weight loss method?
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Say hello to The Miracle Patch. This patch is sewn to your tongue using 6 stitches and makes it so painful to eat food that you're FORCED to consume liquids only! Fucking genius... not! Kind of reminds me of that nasty nail biting paste that I had as a kid, and fucking HATED the taste of. Did it stop me biting my nails... nope!

The good news is that The Miracle Patch only comes with a few side effects, mainly swelling of the tongue and difficulty speaking after getting the patch. Not to mention difficulty sleeping and generally moving your tongue at all. Source

The cost of this unapproved procedure? $2000 from some dude in Beverly Hills, BUT if you go to Venezuela you can get this at the dirt cheap price of $150!

Wanna know more? Then listen to the weird looking white dude who invented it tell you all about it:

My unprofessional advice to anyone who wants to lose weight:

• Reduce the amount of calories you are eating each day
• Do some exercise!
• Make gradual PERMANENT changes in your life. e.g. instead of full fat milk get skimmed
• Cut out snacking on stuff or replace your snacking with healthier stuff!
• Don't overfill your plate!
• Stop drinking so much alcohol
• Eat breakfast so you are not hungry and don't snack on shit later on!

~Cee