Love cats? Do not give them any of the following unless you want to really f**k them up!

Cats. Lovely animals, so cute and cuddly... unless you don't own one and all they do is shit in your garden!

As much as they piss me off, here is a list of 8 things that you SHOULD NOT give to a cat as you will seriously mess it up...
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Chocolate - This can cause seizures and death in cats. Dark chocolate is more toxic than milk or white chocolate. Do not strategically lay chunks of this in your garden in an attempt to poison a cat.

Antifreeze - A teaspoon full of anti freeze can cause kidney failure in cats. Why would a cat be stupid enough to drink anti freeze? Because they are attracted to its smell and taste. Do not pour a little bit into a bowl and leave it in your garden in attempt to give that cat the tasty, blue drink.

Grapes - A few of these can cause kidney failure in that bastard cat. Do not leave these sweet colourful gems dotted around your garden as a cat may eat them.

Milk - I know what you're thinking, 'all cats drink milk', but apparently they can be lactose intolerant. Giving a cat milk won't kill it but it will probably give it the shits for it's owner to deal with unless it's some special cat milk. Do not befriend the cat with a bowl of full fat cow's milk or it will have a serious case of the runs.

Unbaked bread dough - Baking a cake? Do not save a blob (or several blobs) of unbaked dough and throw into your garden for a cat as a little snack. It can expand in the stomach and cut off the blood supply and emergency surgery would be needed. The yeast in the dough can also produce alcohol, leading to seizures and respiratory failure.

Alcohol - No alcohol is good for a cat. All it takes is two teaspoons of whisky to cause a coma in a 5 pound cat, and one more teaspoon could kill it. Do not offer a cat a drink of Absolut vodka because it won't handle it like this guy can.

Caffeine - a large amount of caffeine can kill a cat. And there is no antidote! Symptoms of caffeine poisoning include restlessness, rapid breathing, heart palpitations, muscle tremors, and fits. Do not feed a cat a can of Red Bull. Or even just a little bit in a bowl.

Your Old Meds - This is meant to be the most common poisoning of cats. Do not sprinkle your garden with your old tablets as these will seriously mess up a cat.

So there you go. A few things to definitely NOT leave somewhere for a cat to eat because we enjoy dodging cat shit and cleaning it off our shoes soooo much...

~ Cee